iNKWELL

i fuckin hate seeing people in stupid ass relationships that they DON’T want to be in, but will complain to the high heavens about. get OUTTA here. really, get the complete FUCK out of here because if you were that unhappy, you would have left.

being unhappy is SUPPOSED TO be like drowning. it is impossible for a human to PURPOSELY drown, it has to be either forced or by accident. the human body will, in return, forcibly breathe air if possible. if not, then the lungs will burn and the body will suck in water and DIE.

how many of you are sucking in water when air is only a few inches above your heads?

I’m sitting back and watching these dead-end relationships. Guys cheating, Girls cheating, and most of the time, there’s a FUCKING CHILD involved.

I am Pro-Choice, if you DON’T WANT A FUCKING BABY, then please, by all means, DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING BABY! there are so many options, condoms, abortion, ADOPTION. either give yourself a chance, or give the baby a chance. PLEASE don’t force this child to watch his/her parents act like fucking toddlers. and God forbid the damn kid can read and decides to stumble upon your twitter or facebook accounts.

WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO SEE THAT SHIT??

honestly, if you are unhappy, PLEASE stop sucking in water. cut off the fucking dead weight, and go find happiness, because this shit is for the BIRDS! nobody wants to hear someone complain about the same bullshit EVERY TIME THEY TALK. especially if it is about the SAME argument, OR, if that person gave you advice that you didn’t take.

stop being spineless cowards and GO FIND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!

rant = done

I’m harder on myself than I should be
I devalue my interactions with others
I guess you can call this
depression

you see, I rank pretty low on the food chain
despite my girth, I don’t not weigh much
to anyone

i stopped being important when costumes and raves were halloweenish
when witch’s brew and tall pointy hats were a 24-hr trend
when you
said we
should stay
just friends

I picked myself up
because you were trying to play games with me
you’d want me
then ignore me
and I couldn’t handle the imbalance
shows how much you know about the sensitivity of my stomach
and my heart

you toyed around with my feelings
said that it wasn’t me
but lately
i’ve been questioning

if I were so special to anyone
I would belong to someone
i held you so close to my heart that when you broke it
I didn’t see the pieces shatter
but rather
they sunk into themselves
like water down a drain
and It was such a crushing blow
I still stumble today

and to make matters worse
I put up a guard so high
that people began to crawl under it
i couldn’t see my worth from holding this shield up over my eyes
I ran into my past, head first
and all I could see
was fragments of me
lifting away off of the ground
and into someone else’s palms

but sometimes, I wonder if it’s that I am so low
that I can only go up?
or if I am falling all over again. 

i didn’t know I would perpetually become the girl on the side
without having to put in much effort
guys found it easier to talk to me
had more of an urge to spend time with me
and no matter how I tried to convince myself that I was in charge
i was merely a pawn in this game
Chess doesn’t begin to explain the intricate
web they weaved in order to properly mind fuck me
and not in the good “mental orgasm” kinda way
No, I was fucked in my head
believed that I was special
but I was just a moment
in their world of relationship turmoil
I was the escape
not for sex
but for discussion
a sentimental mood on this Coltrane
see, I let go of someone I loved today
I told him, it’d be best if we were just friends
He had convinced me that I would be the one he would marry
told me that our connection was much deeper than she
promised me that he and I would be match-made in heaven
but I was the only one to get burned
because, to her, he told her solid and concrete promises
said that her introduction to his family on the other side of the nation was in hopes that she would bear his last name
and all in the same breath, telling me, she means nothing
I was the girl on the side
holding strong to this castle and fairy tales don’t mean much to me anymore
I know better
and I won’t cry
because he was never, ever mine
I was the late night text
the missed call
the bar conversation over whiskey and rum
I was the strawberry lip gloss stained on your mustache
I was the, “she doesn’t understand” in an argument
the hand-me-down love that never deserved name brand
but always the girl on the side

-iAmLyricz

So my crush from middle school/high school wants to hang out. And, he’s fkn gorgeous. like, that man is so handsome, it doesn’t make any sense at ALL in the world. I feel like, if he were to touch my hand, I’d have a mini-gasm, just sayin. So yea, he wants to hang out, but i’m slightly apprehensive because he wants sex. There’s nothing wrong with that, who DOESN’T like sex? The problem is, I can’t tell if it’s ALL he wants. I’m not saying I want a relationship with him (I just got out of a relationship, I just wanna coast on life), but I can admit that I’d rather have him fawning over the idea of having sex, than actually having sex (right now at least).

I like the attention. At this point, I want him intrigued and shit, maybe we can go out to a bar, but I don’t want sex…not right now at least, is that bad?